I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
The #friend who can be #silent with us in a
#moment . . . Check it out
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